Fra New York Times på en litt flau dag:
YOUR Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses, Excellencies, honorable members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, ladies and gentlemen —
This is awkward. This is really awkward. Wow.
You know, two months ago, when Thorbjorn Jagland announced that I had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, I said that I was “humbled.” Today I have several other words: “Baffled.” “Incredulous.” “Slightly-very-irritated.”
But ultimately, conventional adjectives fail to convey the powerful rush of emotions one experiences at receiving such a surprising and politically tone-deaf honor. And so I have invented a new word: it’s called “thorbjorn.” As in, “Wow, those Scandinavians completely thorbjorned my hard-earned political capital.” I know, it’s not the best name. In fact, I had hoped that Philip Roth would help me out on this one, but for some reason he couldn’t make it.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, I am humbled, humbled and thorbjorned to be here. I am reminded of another great day in my life — July 14 — when I had the distinction of throwing out the first pitch at the All-Star Game. Who could have guessed that three months later, I would be awarded the American League Cy Young award? That’s a joke, ladies and gentlemen. Seriously, it was just one pitch.
Of course, I do not want to seem ungrateful. I love Oslo. It has been a pleasure to explore this wonderful country. Why, just yesterday, my daughter Sasha had a chance to pet a reindeer. Twelve minutes later, she was awarded the Nobel Prize in Zoology. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, sorry! Another joke. I know that’s not a category.
But, seriously, I have to say that nothing in this amazing country has impressed me more than your majestic fjords. Tall, peaceful and silent, they represent everything that we like best about the Scandinavian people.
Particularly the silence. After all, why would a fjord meddle in geopolitics, let alone potentially undermine an ambitious but still-fragile legislative agenda for the sake of a hollow liberal gesture? It’s just a fjord! And let’s face it: nobody cares what a fjord thinks.
And so, Your Majesties, ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for this unexpected honor. But at the same time, I ask that in the future the committee might take certain steps to avert unnecessary thorbjorning. For instance, maybe you could ask. See, that way, we could have talked this out.
Regardless, in the spirit of Alfred Nobel, I salute the committee for igniting this fuse of friendship, and hope — for everyone’s sake — that this thing doesn’t blow up in all of our faces.
YOUR Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses, Excellencies, honorable members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, ladies and gentlemen —
This is awkward. This is really awkward. Wow.
You know, two months ago, when Thorbjorn Jagland announced that I had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, I said that I was “humbled.” Today I have several other words: “Baffled.” “Incredulous.” “Slightly-very-irritated.”
But ultimately, conventional adjectives fail to convey the powerful rush of emotions one experiences at receiving such a surprising and politically tone-deaf honor. And so I have invented a new word: it’s called “thorbjorn.” As in, “Wow, those Scandinavians completely thorbjorned my hard-earned political capital.” I know, it’s not the best name. In fact, I had hoped that Philip Roth would help me out on this one, but for some reason he couldn’t make it.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, I am humbled, humbled and thorbjorned to be here. I am reminded of another great day in my life — July 14 — when I had the distinction of throwing out the first pitch at the All-Star Game. Who could have guessed that three months later, I would be awarded the American League Cy Young award? That’s a joke, ladies and gentlemen. Seriously, it was just one pitch.
Of course, I do not want to seem ungrateful. I love Oslo. It has been a pleasure to explore this wonderful country. Why, just yesterday, my daughter Sasha had a chance to pet a reindeer. Twelve minutes later, she was awarded the Nobel Prize in Zoology. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, sorry! Another joke. I know that’s not a category.
But, seriously, I have to say that nothing in this amazing country has impressed me more than your majestic fjords. Tall, peaceful and silent, they represent everything that we like best about the Scandinavian people.
Particularly the silence. After all, why would a fjord meddle in geopolitics, let alone potentially undermine an ambitious but still-fragile legislative agenda for the sake of a hollow liberal gesture? It’s just a fjord! And let’s face it: nobody cares what a fjord thinks.
And so, Your Majesties, ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for this unexpected honor. But at the same time, I ask that in the future the committee might take certain steps to avert unnecessary thorbjorning. For instance, maybe you could ask. See, that way, we could have talked this out.
Regardless, in the spirit of Alfred Nobel, I salute the committee for igniting this fuse of friendship, and hope — for everyone’s sake — that this thing doesn’t blow up in all of our faces.
