Sterkt inspirert av velominati sine "bike rules" har jeg forsøkt å skape en oversettelse mot klokkeverden.
Om noen føler kallet til å oversette til norsk send meg PM med teksten så får vi det inn her.
Well here goes:
RULE #1
// Obey The Rules.
RULE #2
// Lead by example.
It is forbidden for someone familiar with The Rules to knowingly assist another person to breach them.1
RULE #3
// Guide the uninitiated.
No matter how good you think your reason is to knowingly breach The Rules, it is never good enough.
RULE #4
// It’s all about the watch.
It is, absolutely, without question, unequivocally, about the watch. Anyone who says otherwise is obviously a twatwaffle.
RULE #5
// Harden The Fuck Up.
RULE #6
// Free your mind and your collection will follow.
Your mind is your worst enemy. Do NONE of your thinking before you start purchasing a watch.Once the collection start to build, wrap yourself in the sensations of the wristtime – the look if the dial, the sound of the movement, the feeling of happiness as the collection starts to stable out.
RULE #7
// Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.
Under no circumstances should one be taking of the watch in an effort to somehow diminish one’s tan lines. Watchless wrists are under no circumstances to be employed.
RULE #8
// Watchband, belts, and shoes shall be carefully matched.3
Valid options are:
Match the watchband to the belt and the shoes to black; or
Match the belt to the color of the logo and the shoes to the color of the dial ; or
Match the shoes and the belt to the color of the markers; or
Black, black, black
RULE #9
// If you are out walking in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Fair-weather strolling is a luxury reserved for Sunday afternoons and wide boulevards. Those who stroll in foul weather – be it cold, wet, or inordinately hot – are members of a special club of WIS'es who, on the morning of a big stroll, pull back the curtain to check the weather and, upon seeing rain falling from the skies, allow a wry smile to spread across their face. This is a watch enthusiast who loves the spotting.
RULE #10
// It never gets easier, you just look closer.
As this famous quote by Greg Daniels tells us, training, climbing, and spying is hard. It stays hard. To put it another way, per Greg Daniels: “Spotting is like fighting with a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired. You stop when the gorilla is tired.” Sur la Plaque, fucktards.4
RULE #11
// Family does not come first. The watch does.
Marcus of Marcus watches, being interviewed after the SIHH, spots his wife leaning against his Ferrari. He interrupts the interview to tell her to get off the paintwork, to which she shrugs, “In your life the car comes first, then the watch, then me.” Instinctively, he snaps back, “You got the order wrong. The watch comes first.”21
RULE #12
// The correct number of watches to own is n+1.
While the minimum number of watches one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of watches currently owned. This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of watches owned that would result in separation from your partner.
RULE #13
//At a GTG If you choose meny number 13, eat it upside down.
Paradoxically, the same mind that holds such control over the body is also woefully fragile and prone to superstitious thought. It fills easily with doubt and is distracted by ancillary details. This is why the crown must always be perfect, the machine correct, the box spotless. And, if you choose the unlucky Number 13, turn it upside down to counter-act its negative energy towards the collection.
RULE #14
//Winders should be black or wooden.
All winders should be black or wooden with the possible exception of side-panels, which may match the rest of the piano-finish or wooden finish in your gentleman room.
RULE #15
// Excotic watchbands should be worn with excotic suits. I.ex Python watchband require a python suit or at least a Python cowboy-hat. Don’t over-match your kit, or accept that you will look like a douche.
RULE #16
// Respect the taste of others.
Collections May differ from your own taste. Enjoy your own collection instead of hating on others taste. If you must hate on others taste, do so in a humouristic mather, or preferrably behind they're backs.
RULE #17
// Brand loupes is for employees of the brand.
If you must use brand loupes, make sure all of your other watchmakers tools Are from the same brand.
RULE #18
// Know what to wear. Don’t suffer watch confusion.
No baggy shorts and jerseys while using a dresswatch. No lycra when using your pilot watch (unless skydiving). Workwear only wit beaters.
RULE #19
// Introduce Yourself.
If you deem it appropriate to join a group of affecienados who are not part of an open gtg and who are not your mates, it is customary and courteous to announce your presence. Introduce yourself and ask if you may join the group. If you have been passed by a group, wait for an invitation, introduce yourself, or let them sit private. The silent joiner is viewed as ill-mannered and Anti-V. Conversely, the joiner who can’t shut their cakehole is no better and should be dropped from the group at first opportunity.
RULE #20
// There are only three remedies for collecting.
These are:
If your wallet start to burn, shift job to increase your salary and build better CV, or
If your wife or others start to burn you, shift bride, or
If you feel broke and unmotivated, meditate on Rule #5 and work more!
Om noen føler kallet til å oversette til norsk send meg PM med teksten så får vi det inn her.
Well here goes:
RULE #1
// Obey The Rules.
RULE #2
// Lead by example.
It is forbidden for someone familiar with The Rules to knowingly assist another person to breach them.1
RULE #3
// Guide the uninitiated.
No matter how good you think your reason is to knowingly breach The Rules, it is never good enough.
RULE #4
// It’s all about the watch.
It is, absolutely, without question, unequivocally, about the watch. Anyone who says otherwise is obviously a twatwaffle.
RULE #5
// Harden The Fuck Up.
RULE #6
// Free your mind and your collection will follow.
Your mind is your worst enemy. Do NONE of your thinking before you start purchasing a watch.Once the collection start to build, wrap yourself in the sensations of the wristtime – the look if the dial, the sound of the movement, the feeling of happiness as the collection starts to stable out.
RULE #7
// Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.
Under no circumstances should one be taking of the watch in an effort to somehow diminish one’s tan lines. Watchless wrists are under no circumstances to be employed.
RULE #8
// Watchband, belts, and shoes shall be carefully matched.3
Valid options are:
Match the watchband to the belt and the shoes to black; or
Match the belt to the color of the logo and the shoes to the color of the dial ; or
Match the shoes and the belt to the color of the markers; or
Black, black, black
RULE #9
// If you are out walking in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Fair-weather strolling is a luxury reserved for Sunday afternoons and wide boulevards. Those who stroll in foul weather – be it cold, wet, or inordinately hot – are members of a special club of WIS'es who, on the morning of a big stroll, pull back the curtain to check the weather and, upon seeing rain falling from the skies, allow a wry smile to spread across their face. This is a watch enthusiast who loves the spotting.
RULE #10
// It never gets easier, you just look closer.
As this famous quote by Greg Daniels tells us, training, climbing, and spying is hard. It stays hard. To put it another way, per Greg Daniels: “Spotting is like fighting with a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired. You stop when the gorilla is tired.” Sur la Plaque, fucktards.4
RULE #11
// Family does not come first. The watch does.
Marcus of Marcus watches, being interviewed after the SIHH, spots his wife leaning against his Ferrari. He interrupts the interview to tell her to get off the paintwork, to which she shrugs, “In your life the car comes first, then the watch, then me.” Instinctively, he snaps back, “You got the order wrong. The watch comes first.”21
RULE #12
// The correct number of watches to own is n+1.
While the minimum number of watches one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of watches currently owned. This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of watches owned that would result in separation from your partner.
RULE #13
//At a GTG If you choose meny number 13, eat it upside down.
Paradoxically, the same mind that holds such control over the body is also woefully fragile and prone to superstitious thought. It fills easily with doubt and is distracted by ancillary details. This is why the crown must always be perfect, the machine correct, the box spotless. And, if you choose the unlucky Number 13, turn it upside down to counter-act its negative energy towards the collection.
RULE #14
//Winders should be black or wooden.
All winders should be black or wooden with the possible exception of side-panels, which may match the rest of the piano-finish or wooden finish in your gentleman room.
RULE #15
// Excotic watchbands should be worn with excotic suits. I.ex Python watchband require a python suit or at least a Python cowboy-hat. Don’t over-match your kit, or accept that you will look like a douche.
RULE #16
// Respect the taste of others.
Collections May differ from your own taste. Enjoy your own collection instead of hating on others taste. If you must hate on others taste, do so in a humouristic mather, or preferrably behind they're backs.
RULE #17
// Brand loupes is for employees of the brand.
If you must use brand loupes, make sure all of your other watchmakers tools Are from the same brand.
RULE #18
// Know what to wear. Don’t suffer watch confusion.
No baggy shorts and jerseys while using a dresswatch. No lycra when using your pilot watch (unless skydiving). Workwear only wit beaters.
RULE #19
// Introduce Yourself.
If you deem it appropriate to join a group of affecienados who are not part of an open gtg and who are not your mates, it is customary and courteous to announce your presence. Introduce yourself and ask if you may join the group. If you have been passed by a group, wait for an invitation, introduce yourself, or let them sit private. The silent joiner is viewed as ill-mannered and Anti-V. Conversely, the joiner who can’t shut their cakehole is no better and should be dropped from the group at first opportunity.
RULE #20
// There are only three remedies for collecting.
These are:
If your wallet start to burn, shift job to increase your salary and build better CV, or
If your wife or others start to burn you, shift bride, or
If you feel broke and unmotivated, meditate on Rule #5 and work more!
Redigert:
